Hello Friends!

Today's post is not about pregnancy, as I don't really have anything new to report (fatigue, nausea, the works) But it is about parenting. Sort of.

So I turned on my car radio yesterday to what used to be my favorite radio station. I hear the beginning of a familiar song. It's a song I loathe and always change the channel when it comes on, even though just a few bars will get it stuck in my head for EVER. Fortunately for me I only have to change the channel during a certain part of the year. Yup you guessed it. It was CHRISTMAS MUSIC! And it was the WORST Christmas song ever! (I apologize for this in advance)

The lyrics go something like this

last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

OVER AND OVER AND OVER! I HATE THIS SONG! Not only is it expressing a sentiment that I don't want to think about during Christmas but the tune is extremely catchy and it gets stuck in your head.

So here is my problems with my day yesterday. First it was only the 10th of NOVEMBER! There should not be Christmas music playing yet! What about Thanks Giving? Are we skipping it this year? Going straight to Christmas? Second, there are only so many Christmas songs. So when you start playing them six weeks early, inevitably (for you heavy radio listeners) you end up hearing the same song, albeit by different artists 10 or 20 times in one day. UUGGGG...

Now, don't get me wrong. I LOVE Christmas. Christmas is my favorite holiday. I love the holiday spirit of giving and service. I love having a time when we celebrate the coming of Christ to this world. I even love Christmas music. I joined a community choir in the winter time just so I could sing Christmas music. I would love to point out also that out of the twenty or so pieces that we are singing, only 3 or 4 are not about Christ. And of those three or four, one is about the new year, and an another is about caroling.

So I just want to emphasize that I don't have a problem with Christmas or Christmas music. What I do have a problem with is the greed and avarice that has crept into this sacred holiday. I strongly suspect that the radio is playing "Christmas" music (and we may as well call it winter music for as much as it is about Christ) Just to get people thinking about shopping. So they will want to go get their Christmas presents on black Friday.

The whole thing disgusts me. Now, if we decided to have six weeks of celebrating Christ, or service, or love and generosity I would be all for it! But six weeks of "what am I going to get for Christmas" is terrible.

*warning* I am about to jump on the highest soap box and I can find and rant for a bit. Please remember that these are only my opinions and I do not in any way expect you to share them. What you choose for your own family is your right as a parent. I reserve the right to make decisions for my family.

Okay so here is the other thing. I HATE Santa Clause. Yes, you read that right. I HATE Santa Clause. Now before you call me a scrooge and throw coal at me, please let me explain.

First of all, I love my savior Jesus Christ. My life has peace and joy because of his teachings on this earth and because of the loving sacrifice he made on this earth for all man kind. I am deeply offended by a fiction character who has hijacked the celebration of the birth of the most important man to be born anywhere in this universe.

I also hate the term "the true meaning of Christmas". The reason I hate it is because I don't think there should be a "false meaning of Christmas". Why would we teach our children about something that counters the beautiful truth that Jesus Christ was born on the earth, that he atoned for our sins, died for us, and was resurrected. That he LIVES and loves us! Why oh why would we need anything other than that to celebrate?

The whole idea of Santa Clause (at least in America) is very sweet. A man who makes toys for children and brings them around the world in one night. But it pales in comparison to the story of the shepherds in the fields who saw an angel, who heard the host of heaven singing in joy because the Savior had been born. OF kings who journeyed for over a year to bring gifts to a small child, a child told of by prophets, who had been sent here to redeem man from their sins.

It seems to me, we already have a reason to celebrate. Why do we need to make things up? Personally in my home, we will not celebrate Santa Clause. I feel there is no need to lie to my children about a kind and generous man when there is a real one who walked on the earth, and who gave them the greatest gift they can ever recieve.

I do love the idea of exchanging gifts on Christmas, but I don't feel the need to hide behind an a fictional character to remain an anonymous gift giver to my children. I hope to help them understand that we give each other gifts to represent the gift Christ gave to us.

(sorry, rant almost over I promise)

So all that being said, I completely detest the tradition of having Santa Clause at ward parties. Again, before you boo me and throw rotten tomatoes, please let me explain.

I want my children to know and understand that church is a place we go to learn beautiful truths about our Heavenly Father and his plan for us while we are on the earth. I want them to know that they can trust what their teachers tell them to be true testimonies of the gospel. So when Primary teachers talk about Santa Clause being real, or (and I really had this happen once) A member of the BISHOPRIC preaches that Santa Clause is real from the pulpit, I will have some serious damage control to do. I will have to explain to my children that while Jesus is a real person, Santa Clause is not even though they learned about him at church. I am already frustrated about having this conversation and my baby is still in uterine.

I personally believe that if you want to celebrate Santa Clause in your own family then you should do it! Exercise your right as a parent and create what ever traditions you feel are best for your family. Take your kids to the mall, or hire a Santa to come to your family Christmas party. But please don't insist that Santa come to the ward Christmas activity. I will have to choose to not participate in a ward function because something I don't believe in is being taught inside the sacred walls of the church.

My one request to all LDS people, is please don't force your belief in Santa Clause onto others who don't wish to have him in their home. I won't ever force you share my opinion, and I am not even really trying to convince you that I am right, but please let church stay sacred and about Jesus Christ.

*ok. Climbing off of my soap box now.*

Sucked it up and called my midwife!

So I have been having terrible morning sickness. (see previous post :P) I have also been fighting a yeast infection since before conception. (turns out this is totally normal.) So I finally sucked it up and called my midwife. I don't really know why I was reluctant in the first place. I guess it is because my midwife, although very professional and friendly she keeps a distance and so I don't really feel like we are "clicking". There are 3 midwives that rotate the prenatal care and the labor and delivery. I didn't really know this at the time because when my friend Mary went through better birth she did the student program and Suzanne was the only one who could supervise the students. So, I am not totally sure I am loving this idea, and I may look around for a different midwife before my next appointment. Any way, I called Suzanne and she gave me many helpful suggestions to help the yeast infections and the morning sickness.

My morning sickness seems to have ebbed a bit by it's self. Or maybe I just got used to it. Either way it doesn't seem so bad. I am really excited now that I actually am believing that this pregnancy will end with a baby. I am really starting to think about labor prep and everything that goes with it!

Hello Friends from facebook! Thanks for coming to read my blog. I would love it if you choose to "follow" me here. I will be posting lots of pictures and updates that I won't be posting on facebook. Keep in mind that anything before October of this year is REALLY out of date information, that you are welcome to read of course but for most of you it will just be confusing. :D Any way, thanks for taking the time to read my blog. I hope you enjoy it!

First ultrasound. Pictures to follow!

So everything went really well at my fist ultrasound. Baby is right on schedule for how far along I am and the heart beat was 110 which is perfect for how big the baby is. Really big is kind of a relative term at the moment. The baby is big compared to the two cells it too to make it :). The baby was so tiny but we were able to see a heart beat. I have a video from the ultrasound and I will try to upload it. I can't promise anything but I will try. :)

Here is a link to my ultrasound video. You can see in the middle toward the top of the black "bubble" a little teeny blob that is flickering. That is my babies heart beat. Cute huh?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMycSZDwYFw

Oh the Joys of morning sickness (or in my case all frikin' day sickness"

So baby is really making it's presence known this week. The "Morning Sickness" or as I like to call it "puked if I do, puked if I don't sickness", is really rearing its ugly head. It is really frustrating because if I eat, I am puking, and if I don't eat I am so nauseated that I want to die. And it doesn't help AT ALL that I caught bronchitis this week too. So my lungs are congested and my nose is stuffy and I keep gagging on my own mucus (sorry I know that is REALLY gross) and every time I gag, I puke because I am already nauseated. I am really wanting to be happy about this baby. I have wanted one for so long that I feel horribly guilty for being miserable instead of joyful. I want so badly to just be like "this is soooo worth it" but right now the pregnancy isn't really even real for me yet so it is hard to imagine a sweet baby in my arms when all of this is over. I am really hoping my ultrasound on Monday will help to finally make me feel like I am growing a baby.

I am really excited for the ultrasound. We are checking for a heart beat and for multiples. I am hoping for one super strong heart beat. :) I will be back to update this on Monday.

Until then... well I hope to just be able to eat something.

First appointment, and a small scare

Horray!

So I had my first appointment with my midwife on Wednesday. Everything looked good, I asked a bunch of questions and Suzanne was very helpful when answering them. That is really all we did for the first appointment. My next appointment is at 10 weeks on December 2nd. I doubt they will be able to hear the heartbeat by then because I have a nice "cushion" in front and it will make it hard for the Doppler to hear. I think I am just going to wait until 16 weeks or so before I have my midwife look for the heartbeat with the Doppler.

So my small scare was that I started spotting last Sunday but it was only a tiny bit and it was brown so all is well. Midwife Suzanne says that is completely normal. The spotting stopped that day and hasn't been back since.

Wow, I suck at blogging! But I will repent and try again

Okay, so today is October 18th 2010. I guess I have taken a (year long?) break from blogging. Today I renew my dedication to my blog, and I promise to blog at least once a week. I have some new motivation that will help me with my goal...........




I am PREGNANT!!!!

Okay, so here is how I got to this point from the last blog post. (uuuggg)


In a nutshell: Had 3 medicated IUI cycles, 2 miscarriages, dropped the doctor at USV, decided to do IUI at home on our own and now we are pregnant!!!!

Okay, this was not as easy as it sound. There was lots of heart ace and woe, frustration and money spent but we are finally here.

I will start back at the beginning of this cycle.

First I made a decision to start exercising and loose weight. That decision was mostly based on not wanting to top a "certain number" when I actually did get pregnant. So I would get up every morning at 6:00 AM and go work out with my best Buddie Lori, We were doing P90 which is great weight training and cardio. I lost 10 lbs and I was feel really great. I then came home and walked 3 miles with my friend Sarah, and then I did prnatal Yoga. I know this sound like over kill but it really worked well.

I also did the Usana nutrameal program, (low glycemic shakes and bars)and I am sure it contributed to my success.

The next thing I did was start on some supplements. I have have done TONS of research about natural supplements that you can take to improve conception.

Here is a list of what I took and how much:

One a day woman's prenatal(I also have the Western Family brand which the pharmacist at my pharmacy says is a really good prenatal): One tablet daily
One a day woman's DHA supplement: One gelcap daily
Low dose Aspirin: 1 81mg tablet once a day
Omega 3 fish oil: 3 capsules a day
Calcium: one tablet
Selenium: one 200mg tablet daily

The Aspirin is for improving ovarian response, improving blood flow to the uterus, and preventing blood clots that can cause miscarriage,
The Selenium is also for preventing miscarriage
Fish oil is said to help with conception and making smart healthy babies
The rest are just normal good stuff for pregnant women.

I also chose to eat fresh cut pineapple from the day of the IUI until 5 days after. This is suppose to help with implantation, (and at least I think it did) :D

Then it was time to wait. The first week after the insemination I didn't really feel anything. I was convinced it had not worked. But by week 2 I was having some really strange symptoms.

I am now going to list all of my symptoms in 3 different lists.
#1)Symptoms I was expecting, and then got,
#2)Symptoms I was expecting and didn't get
#3) Symptoms I was NOT expecting and got

#1)Fatigue: I have been very tired, and sleepy (they are different)
Morning sickness: I do get nauseated during the day, especially when I am hungry but it is still pretty mild.
Stuffy nose: mild but annoying
Sore breasts: this one started like 3 or 4 DPO (days past ovulation) and hasn't quit

#2) Blue veins on the breasts: this one is fairly common but since I always have them I haven't seen a change in their appearance
Headaches: I have had one mild one but I was expecting them to be more frequent and sever.

#3) Crankiness: I was expecting to so happy that I was finally pregnant that no amount of hormones could possibly interfere with my joy. Well... that's not really happening. I am very happy and joyful but I feel like I have a NASTY case of PMS. NO patients, really emotional, irrational, and really hard on Daniel. :( I feel bad for being such a brat to my sweetheart so I am going to try really hard to be nicer.
Hot Flashes: this one caught me off guard. I started feeling really hot about 6 DPO and now I am really sensitive to the heat and I get hot flashes all day long.
Sore muscles: every muscle in my body is sore right now. Not really sure why but it is really annoying


Well I think that is it for now, I have my first prenatal visit with my midwife on Wednesday. I will tell you all about it then. :)